Wednesday, October 27, 2004

Maybe it's all of the bleak reading I've been doing for class (The Waste Land isn't exactly an upper) -- I'm blue. Could be the weather changing from those picturesque fall days to grey and rain. Could be could be. I'm bored as hell, but I still fall behind in my work. How does that happen? It pisses the hell out of me because if there's one thing I hate, it's apathy, especially in myself. But I want to hibernate through the term, the election, Christmas, my job, and the convoluted footpaths people lay out for themselves and each other. I feel like I could wash my dishes forever and slide down the drain when I'm done. My dad, french-fluent, taught me the word "ennui" when I started seeing someone for Depression. I had to deflate that D in a big way -- all of our problems are so much more when we're 16. Gee whiz, what a wise nearly two decades I have!

Christ. Look at that. Too. Much. Joyce. But it's what I look forward to. It's what actually tires me out. Sometimes I have to fight Ulysses or TS Eliot. The more I fantastize, the more appealling academia looks to me. Ph.D?

Even if you didn't really read anything up there, click the linky. Our president, the sniggering frat boy. Unbelievable.

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