Monday, February 09, 2009

strangely timely, salon.

This little number very nearly inspired me to post 25 random (or at least non-connected) things about myself on Facebook. Read it - the article addresses the exhibitionism and poignancy of putting the personal on the internet. That's something I've sort of grappled with, since it feels like I need to justify my use of time and space on the blog. To that end, the few people who read this must care at least a little about what I have to say. So while I'm not about to throw out a number list, or even take Megs' very thoughtful idea of writing a sweet, short note to 25 people, I'ma talk about me. Unabashedly. Because I want to and because this crazy digital culture of ours allows it.

One thing that I take very seriously is keeping my engagements with friends and not turning down invitations. I've been on a streak of flaking out on people lately, and that makes me feel tremendously guilty. There's a mental list going of who I need to call and make plans with, of who I need to see first and foremost next time I hit Eugene, Seattle. Even if it's not a big deal to the other party, I can't help but take it to heart.

Being queer has shifted in meaning significantly for me. At this point, it's critical that I keep that face forward, that I not shy away from correcting people ("I'm not a sir", etc) or seeking out a queer community to call my own. Navigating queer/straight business has not been hard for me, not since I moved to Oregon. Since it's sunken in that I'm in a friendlier place, that it's okay to like the ladies, that that is what is natural to me, I can stop looking over my shoulder or feeling like the Man is about to vandalize my wheels or what have you. Alaska-wise, I got off easy, but finally starting to let go of the internalized ickiness is such a release.

Not to be all linked out (or to totally shill for Salon), but this article came on the heels of my snot rocket post. We're talking different fluids, but I'm all for more openness about the body. That said, I found it extraordinarily difficult to publish that last post on the grounds of Eww. It's funny how we can intellectualize things like that.

Although I like my job and think that I'm on a solid trajectory work-wise, I wish that I'd studied totally different things in college. Spanish, for starters, and biology. There were so many programs that I was too clueless to try, or too scared to fail because of big, scary math. So I read comic books and now that feels like something of a cop out. For that reason, I aim to take a Spanish class when I can afford it.

I hope my little brother knows just how important he is to me. These are the conversations that are hard to have.

Biking, boxing, and running help me enjoy my body more. I know full well that I'll be of the scrawny persuasion unless I pop out a baby, so I definitely enjoy feeling strong even though there's not a whole lot of meat to me.

Giving up meat has been fantastic. I haven't looked back.

I am a birdwatcher. Some people know this and some don't, because it's frankly rather nerdy and used to be somewhat embarrassing. If I could learn all the names of the plants and animals in the Northwest, I would.

Law school count so far: One acceptance (Temple), one rejection (Northwestern, shock of shocks), four no shows. I am not going to move to Philly, but it's nice to know that Temple thinks I'm worth it.

Cleaning my chain rings yesterday felt GREAT. Cleansing. Like taking a shower after a long plane ride or like some sort of spiritual rebirth. I took my chainguard off (finally) and it's never going back on. My poor bike needs more TLC than I give it. Her.

I want to make art again.

1 comment:

Russell said...

I only just re-found your blog since it got the new address. Needless to say, I was quite pleased, almost as much as I was to read that you still ID as a birdwatcher.