"no diggity" is stuck in my head

in fact, i think no diggity was in my dream.

done signed up for VeganMoFo 2010. this means i'll blog more. hopefully, there will be a ripple of not only increased blog productivity, but increased all-around productivity.

to that end, i have homework.

For years, I was convinced that I would write for a living. I mean, really write, man. Words with grace and dignity and brawn. Words that will kick your ass and make you want more. Words like the ones I read while hunkered for the night or while sprawled in a lawn chair. Necessary words. Honest words. Urgent words.

No dice. It turns out I'll write for a living, and the words will be necessary, honest, and urgent in a very different way than I could have anticipated even two years ago. They'll also be dense and dry, and I will have to labor to work my favorite words into my pleadings (not poems) and memos (not memoirs). The rules of style and citation that I can barely keep straight now will be what Strunk and White was to me when this blog got started.

But when I reflect on all the collected years of ambitions to Really Write, I come back to something that a judge told a roomful of young legal hotshots and a few tag-alongs like me yesterday: Words are your craft. He followed this statement with a screed on why it's necessary to polish writing skills, why typos are the super-poisoned kiss of death in federal courts, and why he hates cliches. I was checked out a that point because "words are your craft" is something I've heard before from creative writing mentors/professors and from my editors at newspapers too.

And words are my craft. (Notice that I began my sentence with a conjunction - it's not ignorance of the fine and revered rules of grammar, it's a device to get attention! Enough meta, though. You know I know how to write.) Words have never been my craft in any particular way, though, so signing my style away to the legal gods shakes me up a little. Going lawyer is a commitment to a writing style, among other things, that I'm not quite prepared to accept. I don't really have a choice, though. My emails are already shorter, more direct. My longhand letters lack the long, ponderous sentences they once had. That just might be a good thing.

Still, the effect of but one year of legal writing is not one of minced words per se, but ground words. Pureed words. They're made to be consumed and absorbed quickly. This, they say, is the big difference between legal writing and every other style of writing. I'm not sure there really is a huge difference. Simple writing will always rock, and simple writing will always be my goal.

moving sucks!

and that's what I'm doing, so bear with the silence, please.

check it!

New layout courtesy Kelly.

I want to write something quiet and profound about hope and failure, after an absolutely shattering and inspiring night at election central for an Oregon state legislature candidate who lost her bid. The journal entry I wrote in my head on the bike ride home was a paean to ambition, failure, and the toughness it takes to rebound from all of that. Some damn good turns of phrase in there. Shame I never wrote it down.

This journal entry turned blog post got sort of muddled with my more self-centered thoughts. It takes major league guts to pour yourself into something, not succeed, and navigate the fallout with dignity and courage. That's the sort of strength I aspire to because it's become extraordinarily evident that I will not ace every endeavor I undertake. Even though I'm growing accustomed to falling on my face, saddling up again has only become marginally easier. Still. I'll take that much.

So here's to courage in the face of (at least for my part) death of loved ones, grief of loved ones, friends coming and going, (new) employment anxiety, emotional instability, money troubles, impending law school admissions (or rejections), overwhelming generalized guilt, late fees, due dates, roommate shuffling, and, inevitably, women.

(Shit! My laundry!)

I'm the first to admit that the urge to blog/exhibit my life and thoughts/indulge myself in this medium comes and goes. Expect changes, though, and with those changes, content. Content of interest! More pictures! Less pseudo-profundity! Probably about the same amount of whining, navel-gazing, and wry commentary!

I'd forgotten a few things

Topping the list of late: why I stopped buying Tom's of Maine deodorant in the summer, what warm weather does to me (mania for the outdoors and consequent sunburn, desires for charred meat, that sort of thing) and the realization that I do, in fact, have muscles. Many of them are sore. I've had the new bike less than a week and I've logged something like 30 miles. Considering the (sad) shape I'm in, not bad.

Testing the waters on this one: Law school. Down the road a piece, natch. Civil rights and labor law specifically. Thoughts?

If I didn't mention it before, my days in Eugene are officially numbered. Moving Day: July 20. Sometimes that feels too soon, other times too late. Which probably means it's as good as any date.

Reading! So much reading. Chewed on some major Faulkner for a while, but I've since moved on to Ragtime. I think this is my fifth or sixth attempt on that one. Determination!

now what?

As of June 16, I'm an unemployed college graduate. Flitting off to a wedding that I don't especially want to go to this weekend, although it's in Portland which is some consolation -- the apartment and job searches begin in earnest now. (Actually, the wedding itself is in Hillsboro, which kills me. So far! No car! Drat, I say.)

I've got all this time now, and it's confusing me. What the hell do I do with myself now? The potential internship looks less promising day by day, and I can only hang in Eugene living off of savings for so long.

On the other hand, I can have hobbies again. Woo!

This was going to be more interesting, but the thought of Now What? is pretty tedious and all-consuming these days.

outta here again

Portland-bound. Maybe not the brightest idea, but it's got to happen. All things being equal, I'd like to look at the other Potential Home City.

got a few comments back from the thesis advisor, in other news. "This is MA level work." !!