Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Vegan MoFo Day 8: Two things

A Dialogue

Me: (whistling nonchalantly and innocently as I enter my boss' office to deposit some paperwork)
M&Ms Dispenser on Boss' Desk: 'Sup.
Me: EGAD! M&Ms dispenser! You startled me!
Dispenser: Heard you went vegan.
Me: That's quite true, M&Ms dispenser. I guess I won't be giving you any business anymore. What with the milk chocolate and all.
Dispenser: Uh-huh. I've seen this before. Diets don't last. You'll crack, and you'll come crawling back for some of this sweet, sweet candy, if I may borrow a creepy-ass phrase from Family Guy.
Me: (pause) Yep. Creepy. But nonetheless, I'm trying veganism out for the month not only to see if I can hack it, but to gain a little insight on other eating habits. I've been playing with the idea of going raw, too. It's more a matter of learning about food and food politics than any particular ideology. My ideology revolves more around the footprint of my meal than --
Dispenser: Sweet, sweet candy.
[uncomfortable silence]
Dispenser: Come on, you don't miss chocolate?
Me: There's plenty of vegan chocolate in this world. I don't want for chocolate. To be honest, M&Ms dispenser, ours was a relationship of convenience. You were there, the peanut M&Ms were there... things happen. And now I'm moving on. Chances are decent that this veganism kick may not last beyond the month, but I doubt I'll come back to you.
[another uncomfortable silence]
Dispenser: Baby, I can change! Dark chocolate M&Ms are a distinct possibility. Talk to the Bossman. He'll hook you up. He'll hook us up.
Me: Sorry, M&Ms dispenser that sits on my boss' desk. It's over between us. Compulsively eating sub-par chocolate just isn't for me anymore. Goodbye.
Dispenser: You'll be back! Someone has to sign off on the purchase orders! And when you come around, I'll be right here.


Also: I have not stopped being hungry for three days. Is veganism really just a ploy to make folks constantly (albeit healthily) graze?

1 comment:

herbstsonne said...

If you don't mind me asking, what are your meals like? I manage to stuff myself daily, lol. XD And John just always eats double what I do.

I've never had that problem but I've been told that if you're hungry, to just eat more. But I'm not, like, a doctor or anything.

I recommend library-ing Becoming Vegan by Brenda Davis and Vesanto Melina. It's like the vegan bible, only, you know, true. It will answer any and all diet-related questions. There's a limited preview available here: http://www.google.com/books?id=R7FRvTyRF0cC&printsec=frontcover&dq=becoming+vegan&sig=ACfU3U21PyP2wE8UJVYZBTnnWU2K0yK1Tg